Faded Colors

My heart feels stranded.

I feel ashamed of myself. I feel ashamed to every person that revolves around me. And I really mean it. This unhealthy feeling keeps haunting me for the past few days. And it will continue until... I don’t know when.

I’ve let the peoples who love me down. I’ve let them down. I even let myself down. I draw myself in the ugliest way that I can. I keep on doing that regarding all the good thing that He gave to me. Am I the person who drowned in this worldly life? I’m hoping that I’m not.

Every minute and hours past with me regretting the sins and mistakes that I’ve committed. That I’ve made.

I want to repent.

But I don’t know how.

I want to let this feeling go.

But I know I can’t.

I want to leave this world.

But I know I won’t.

Not without His consent.

I just want to go back home.

‘HOME’.

I think, I may break down in cry. May I…